


Swapped

by MamzelleSouris



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bodyswap, Crack, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Promiscuity, Prudishness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamzelleSouris/pseuds/MamzelleSouris
Summary: When an accident strands three seekers in each other's bodies sillinesss ensues (naturally).
Relationships: Astrotrain/Skywarp (Transformers), Thundercracker/Everyone
Comments: 62
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The bodyswap fic that no-one asked for (especially me).
> 
> Pure crack, and I make no apologies!

Hook and Scrapper were surprisingly apologetic when they came out of stasis. Mixmaster was less apologetic, and kept giggling crazily. The rest of the gestalt were apparently hiding, although Scavenger could just be seen, peering worriedly out from behind a doorframe.

A burst of laughter followed them out, along with Scrapper’s assurance that they would find a fix as soon as possible. Starscream almost turned back, but Thundercracker grabbed his wing, and hauled him onwards.

Back in their shared quarters the trine took stock.

“Well, this is going to cause issues.” Thundercracker commented, and his customary deadpan delivery sounded deeply surreal coming from Skywarp’s vocaliser. He moved differently too Skywarp realised, watching him. Different size and weight of frame, different center of gravity. In Thundercracker’s frame Starscream seemed to be having more issues. The customary grace of a seeker was replaced with a suggestion of clumsiness.

Skywarp could feel the difference himself. Starscream’s frame was ridiculously light, and delicate, forcing him to mince along rather than stride. It was...unnerving.

“Issues, he says? ISSUES?” Thundercracker’s vocaliser wasn’t supposed to do that, and Skywarp winced. Starscream had no respect for other mechs frames at the best of times, even when he was wearing them.

Primus Skywarp hoped that this was only temporary.

“Calm down Star.” He said instead, wincing again at the harsh tones of Starscream’s vocaliser. He didn’t know how his trine mate stood such a horrible noise.

“Calm DOWN?!?” Starscream shrieked, forcing Thundercracker’s vocaliser to a pitch it was really NOT supposed to produce. It spat static and Thundercracker strode over and clapped his servo over his, or rather Starscream’s mouth. Strascream glared daggers at them both (and THAT was a weird expression of Thundercracker’s normally stoic faceplates).

“None of us are happy about this.” Thundercracker pointed out reasonably.

“I’m the Air Commander of the Decepticons!” Starscream pointed out. “I can’t just be...you, for however long it takes for those idiots to fix whatever they did!” He glared over at Skywarp. “And Skywarp CANNOT be ME. Frag we would lose the fragging war in a sparkpulse!”

“Well if you weren’t so keen that the Constructicons don’t let anyone know what happened…” Skywarp put in hotly.

“Yes, because I’m overjoyed at being seen like...like this by my subordinates. Or worse by Megatron!”

“Hey!” Thundercracker snapped, offended.

“Oh shut up!”

Skywarp sighed. Starscream had been very definite that the Constructicons could not tell anyone what had happened. His threats had been graphic, inventive and vicious. It was made worse when you realised they appeared to be coming from Thundercracker of all mechs.

“So what do we do?” Skywarp asked, breaking into what was shaping up to be a major fight between his trine mates. Normally he wouldn’t bother, but that was his frame that Thundercracker was currently inhabiting, and he wanted it back in one piece.

“We’ll have to make the best of it.” Starscream snapped. “And keep you away from Megatron!” He frowned, thinking. “We can say I’m working in my lab and that I need you...err Thundercracker to help me. That should keep you out of the command center AND give me a chance to try and figure this mess out.”

Skywarp and Thundercracker met each others optics. It was a terrible plan, but it was the best they had while Starscream was so insistent that Megatron not find out what had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* 
> 
> Sexual harassment ahead (mild - but it is better to over warn).
> 
> Megatron has no morals!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A second chapter of silliness, enjoy!

Despite Starscream’s best efforts Skywarp had to show his face in the command center. Megatron had commed him, demanding he come up and work there where the warlord could “keep an optic” on him.

Starscream had grumbled about stupid, paranoid bucket-headed old maniacs, but booted him out of the lab and instructed him to “Ignore half of what Megatron says. Refuse to do anything until you have checked with me, and make sure to insult his intelligence when he makes an obvious joke.”

Skywarp wasn’t keen on the idea, but Starscream had bullied him into it. Unlike his trine leader Skywarp prided himself on being a good soldier. He rationalised the whole teleporting behind people and pushing them down stairs, and paint-bombing the rec room as morale boosting. 

So a reasonably good soldier.

Starscream...wasn’t a good soldier. He wasn’t even a mediocre soldier. He was a brilliant tactician, a very good fighter and a surprisingly competent air commander, but as a subordinate he ranked a little lower than Swindle, who, lest any Decepticon forget, had once sold his own commanding officer for scrap.

To maintain the deception Skywarp was going to have to channel his inner insubordination. Unfortunately the only mech he usually disobeyed with any regularity was Starscream himself. He tried not to think about the implications of being in Starscream’s body while defying his trine leader. It made his helm hurt.  
*************  
Skywarp was half a jour into an eight jour shift and already so bored he was wondering if it was possible that his processor had actually glitched. Starcream’s job was just dull! He tried to distract himself from the tedium of compiling reports and writing patrol rotas by thinking about Astrotrain. Skywarp felt an un-Decepticon like fondness for the triple changer.

He and Astrotrain would describe their relationship, if pressed, as “friends with benefits”. A shared sense of humour and a couple of mutual hobbies (distilling high grade and irritating their illustrious Air Commander) had thrown them together. The interfacing had been a natural progression. They got together fairly regularly . Skywarp wasn’t actually sure his trine knew. Thundercracker wouldn’t care and Starscream would be horrified and refuse to let him say anything further.

Of course all that would have to be on hold until the Constructicons sorted the whole mess out. Skywarp vowed to stay out of Astrotrain’s way until he was back in his own frame. He could probably explain it away by telling his friend that Starscream had been unusually difficult and was taking up all his time.

It wouldn’t be untrue, but he would miss the cuddling.

He sighed, turning his attention back to the patrol rota. Unfortunately the sigh had been a little more forceful than he had thought because there was suddenly a huge, looming presence at his back.

No wonder Starscream hated working in the command center when Megatron was of shift!

“Something boring you Starscream?” Megatron rumbled darkly.

Oh Frag! What had Starscream told him? Ignore half of what Megatron said? Right! He kept his mouth shut, but the menacing sensation behind his wings didn’t move.

“Are your audials malfunctioning?” Suddenly a huge servo gripped the base of his wing, hauling him out of the seat. Skywarp yelped in pain and surprise. “Well?”

“N-no m-my lord.”

“My lord? You are not normally so formal Starscream.” He was spun around to face Megatron whose optics were narrowed in suspicion. “What are you planning?”

“N-nothing.”

“Nothing? There is ‘nothing’ going on in that pretty helm of yours?” Megatron’s smile was nasty. “Perhaps I can help by giving you something...else to concentrate on then.” One of Megatron’s massive servo’s came up to tweak a wingtip, and Skywarp jolted. Megatron pulled him closer, purring into his audial, “I’m sure you would find it most...inspiring.”

Skywarp froze, processor nearly crashing with the implications. Megatron was looking impossibly smug. He couldn’t think of any response.

“And I’m sure you can...inspire me in turn.”

“Um, I’ve...um...I’ve got t-to go.” Skywarp whipped himself out of Megatron’s hold and scuttled for the door. Behind him he could hear his leader’s booming laugh. Skywarp wondered if Starscream had to put up with this all the time.

Out in the corridor he paused to catch his vents. Megatron had absolutely been coming on to him...well to Starscream technically, but...woah. 

He headed back for Starscream’s lab. His trine leader would grumble that he hadn’t finished all the Air Commander’s boring-aft tasks, but Starscream could shove it up his exhaust. Skywarp was NOT going back in there with Megatron looming, thank you very much.

On the other servo Megatron’s proposition would certainly provide some fodder for his very private fantasies for some time to come!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thundercracker's day is looking up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would never have thought this of him!
> 
> Enjoy. :)

Thundercracker actually found that being Skywarp wasn’t that different to being Thundercracker. They were both senior officers with similar responsibilities, both Staescream’s trine mates and therefore expected to listen to everyone else's complaints, and carry them (in abridged form) to Starscream.

He was seeing a difference in the sort of complaints though. Skywarp got all the mechs whinging about patrol routes and duties, while Thundercracker usually found himself handling complaints about other mechs. The sort of complaints he could usually handle by having a quiet word with the mech in question.

Those were the sort of complaints which would make Starscream’s mouth twist in disgust and start shrieking that he didn’t want to know what disgusting things his airforce were getting up to in their down time.

The big difference Thundercracker was finding was the lack of casual touching. Mechs just didn’t seem to touch Skywarp the way they usually touched him. No servo sneaking up to pet his wings or down to his aft. No arms sneaking around his waist and mechs murmuring suggestions for what they could do together on their off shift.

It was slightly frustrating. 

Thundercracker NEVER lacked for company. His reputation as a mech who was up for absolutely anything in the berthroom (or the wasracks, storage room, or even the command center) ensured it.

Being ignored was just weird.

He sat in the rec room, sipping his energon and watching his fellow Decepticons. He almost didn’t notice Astrotrain at first. The triple changer wasn’t really a mech who he would associate with. He knew Skywarp was a friend of the big shuttle, but Thundercracker himself had barely spoken to him before. 

It took him by surprise at first, then he remembered what had happened.

“Hey Sky.” Astrotrain slid into the seat opposite him. “Heard you were in the medbay.”

“Yeah.” Thundercracker responded cautiously, deciding there would be minimal harm in revealing something so commonplace. Astrotrain gave a sympathetic grimace.

“I’ve got a new batch of high grade ready for testing. I thought you might want to give it a try?” Thundercracker was sure there was a note of hope in the other mech’s voice. Astrotrain lowered his voice to a purr. “And afterwards I could do that thing with your thrusters you liked so much last time.

Well...that was unexpected. Thundercracker’s processor span with the implications before deciding that a little bit of fun would provide a, not unwelcome, distraction.

“Yeah.” he replied, “I’m up for that.” He slugged back the last of his energon.  
************  
Thundercracker sauntered back down the corridor, with three cubes in his subspace feeling pleasantly sated and with his wings nicely polished. 

The high grade had been average. Thundercracker had wondered where his trine mate was getting the potent mix that was his preferred fuel from, but now he thought he knew. Skywarp would sometimes slip some to Starscream when they needed some trine bonding time. It didn’t cause the white seeker to lose his inhibitions, but it did make it easier to convince him to at least have the lights on when they got intimate.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the shift had been that Skywarp and Astrotrain had apparently been fragging each other for some time. Skywarp was usually an incurable gossip, but he seemed to have been unusually quiet about his own affairs.

Astrotrain even knew which brand of polish his trine mate favoured!

The fragging had been pleasant, if a little dull, and afterwards Astrotrain had wanted to cuddle, and talk, and it had all been rather un-Decepticon really. 

The polish had been nice though.

Briefly Thundercracker wondered how his trine mates were faring on this very strange day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream is having a bad day.
> 
> A very, very bad day!

Starscream would usually have enjoyed the patrol flight he had been ordered to take. Two jours of flying with no idiots around to distract him would have been perfect. 

Except it hadn’t happened like that.

Almost from the click he had taken off his comm had started buzzing. It felt like every mech on the base wanted to talk to Thundercracker. Starscream didn’t understand it. Even SOUNDWAVE of all mechs was getting into the action.

Some of the comms he was getting were somewhat explicit as well. Starscream was starting to get a first person view of what Thundercracker was doing in his spare time! It made his plating crawl.

It had started with a message from Brawl telling him that the Combaticons had got their servos on some fancy high grade, the sort that hadn’t been brewed for vorns, and offering to share with Thundercracker. Starscream made a mental note to keep a closer optic on Swindle’s requisitions when he got his own frame back.

So far, so weird. Then he got a message from Thrust, requesting help polishing his wings, and offering to ‘return the favour’. Blitzwing was in touch next, telling him that the triple changer was back from his latest mission and ‘up for some company to watch the game.’

The most cryptic message was from Soundwave which seemed to be a treatise on musical appreciation and an open invitation for Thundercracker to come to Soundwave’s quarters and listen to the recording in question and ‘give his opinion’.

The crudest message was from Barricade and simply read ‘Fancy a frag?’ along with a more detailed list of proposals which nearly caused Starscream’s engine to cut out with mortification.

Starscream resolutely deleted every message, and the back ups, and considered removing the past jour from his memory bank.

And then Megatron sent his own little request. 

Request was not quite the correct word, it had to be said. There was a definite overtone or order to the proposition. Megatron said he ‘expected’ that Thundercracker had some time free on the third shift and that he should come to Megatron’s quarters. Fortunately Megatron didn’t go into more details about what he expected, but based on the other messages he had received Starscream thought he could take an educated guess.

He would be talking to Thundercracker quite seriously when he got back.

He deleted Megatron’s message with the others. The old buckethead could just do without a seeker in his berth this cycle.  
************  
Starscream returned from Thundercracker’s patrol in a furious temper. He was going to give his trine mate a piece of his processor, and Starscream had a formidably large processor. This could take a significant portion of the cycle! 

And afterwards Starscream had decided to purge his memory banks of this entire cycles activities. He was confident he could live without remembering any of this. Especially the idea that Thundercracker and MEGATRON of all mechs were...Yeah - Starscream was NOT going there.

Starscream stomped down the corridor to the rec room. The ONLY upside to this whole disturbing situation was that Thundercracker’s bigger, heavier frame was good for conveying how upset he was. The big, noisy engine in Thundercracker’s frame was also useful for allowing everyone within audial range to hear that he was not pleased.

Heads turned when he entered the rec room, and more than a few Decepticons actually had the gall to SMILE at him. Starscream didn’t snarl an insult at all of them by an astonishing effort of will.

His will was tested even further when he received three propositions between the door and the energon dispenser, two while he drew himself a cube and SEVEN before he had sat down.

He was starting to think that giving Thundercracker a lecture was not going to be enough. Starscream was beginning to entertain the idea of corrective violence and removing certain bits of his trine mate’s anatomy. 

By the time Rumble and Frenzy had made a particularly lewd suggestion involving a giant feather boa and a flux capacitor Starscream was sure that violence would be the most appropriate option.

He gritted his denta, refused every offer, claimed his comm had been malfunctioning and drank his cube as quickly as possible. He was not terribly polite about his refusal it was true, but he rationalised that Thundercracker deserved to be dealing with the fallout from this for cycles to come.

Some of the suggestions were making him feel physically unwell, but he was congratulating himself on getting through the ordeal without murdering anyone when Megatron pranced through the door.

Pranced was not a fair description, but Starscream refused to mentally edit it, Soundwave be dammed. Of course it was too much to hope that Megatron would just come in, grab a cube and leave. No, he looked around, spotted Starscream and immediately changed course and was heading in his direction. The mech’s surrounding Starscream melted away (cowards) and he was left with the warlord.

“Thundercracker.” Megatron rumbled. “Did you receive my comm? I have some important issues to discuss if you would like to come to my office.”

It sounded like an innocent offer, but Starscream instinctively mistrusted it after the cycle he had had.

“My comm is malfunctioning.” He lied instead. “I’m getting scrambled messages. Starscream is going to fix it this shift.” He saw that Megatron was about to suggest he meet the warlord afterwards and thought quickly. “He doesn’t know how long it will take!”

“That is regrettable.” Megatron dropped his voice to a low rumbling purr. “I have a new set of stasis cuffs that I was hoping you could help me test.”

Starscream stood hurriedly, muttering something about having to get back to his trine and almost sprinted from the rec room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starscream is angry, Skywarp has leapt to conclusions, and Thundercracker would like his vocaliser back intact thanks.

Starscream had been ranting for a full jour by the time Thundercracker got back to their quarters. Skywarp was looking bored, having clearly been on the receiving end for some time. The content seemed to be how scandalised Starscream was by his fellow Decepticons, which was not an uncommon complaint from the Air Commander. 

If Thundercracker wanted to put it into words he would have said Starscream was an uptight prude. Not to Starscream himself, of course (despite what Starscream was currently shouting Thundercracker was not an idiot), but if anyone else had asked Thundercracker’s opinion that would have been it.

“Where have you been?” Thundercracker winced at the static in his vocaliser. Starscream had clearly been overworking it. He hoped it would be alright with some rest when he got his own frame back.

“I have been on my off shift.” He said, “Relaxing.”

“Relaxing he calls it! Who with this time?” Starscream asked nastily.

Thundercracker suddenly remembered that, yes, Starscream had been off shift as well, and yes, he had clearly been to the rec room. He could imagine just how well that would have gone down.

Before he could answer Skywarp opted to jump in with a question of his own. Thundercracker was suddenly grateful, remembering his impression that Skywarp and Astrotrain had been more than just “friends” for some time. He was even more grateful for his trine mate’s tendency to ignore anything he thought was “boring” which apparently included anything Starscream said.

“So, Screamer…” Skywarp ignored Starscream’s snapped retort about not calling him ‘Screamer’. “How long’ve you and the boss been doin’ the horizontal cyber waltz?”

Starscream looked blank, his usual eloquence deserting him. “Huh?”

“Banging bumpers, clanging cockpits... having a little ‘personal time’ - you know!”

“I think he means ‘how long have you and Megatron been fragging.” Thundercracker interjected, having caught on. “Actually I’d be interested in the answer to that too. It takes us a fragging Earth WEEK to get you round to the idea of even sharing a berth with your trine, AND you insist on having the light off! And now we find out you are fragging MEGATRON?!?”

“WHAT?” Thundercracker and Skywarp winced. Thundercracker’s vocaliser was suited to volume, if not pitch, and Starscream was making use of that. “I would NEVER, with...with...UGH!” He looked revolted.

“You mean you’re not?” Skywarp looked poleaxed (and that was a frankly ridiculous expression on Starscream’s faceplates). “So what was all the flirting about in the command center? Seriously, you don’t come on to a mech like that unless you are pretty sure of a good reception!”

“He’s ALWAYS doing things like that. Sometimes he says stuff which is just creepy. Revolting old pervert!”

“He’s not that old.” Thundercracker felt compelled to say. “And honestly not that perverted either.” Skywarp’s face was good for giving lascivious smirks, his trine mate had a marvellous store of them, and Thundercracker used it to the fullest, enjoying Starscream’s noise of revulsion.

“How do you know?” Skywarp enquired, partly to annoy Starscream, partly because he was curious. Thundercracker opened his mouth and Starscream clapped his servo’s over his audials, humming loudly.

Before Thundercracker could start revealing the juicy secrets of Megatron’s berthroom exploits their comms simultaneously crackled into life.

::The three of you want to get your thrusters down to the medbay.:: Hook warned. ::We’ve figured out how to get you back to normal.:: 

“Thank Primus.” Starscream shot through the door like he had been propelled by an explosion. Skywarp and Thundercracker traded glances and followed him.  
************  
Starscream strutted into the command center, wings and helm held high. Megatron grinned smugly at him, optics raking over his frame, and murmured a filthy suggestion about Starscream’s thrusters. The seeker’s optics flashed almost white in fury and his servo struck Megatron’s cheek. Starscream turned on said thrusters and stormed back out of the command centre. Megatron watched him leave, clutching his face, but grinning widely.

At his station Soundwave, who had kept himself well away from the whole situation (apart from a little light Starscream baiting), sighed softly. Things were clearly back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go - short and...well maybe not sweet, but something beginning with S certainly.
> 
> Thank you for reading. :)


End file.
